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“What’s a Paladin?”

Spoony’s Ultima reviews are great, and he actually got to interview Garriot at one point. Me, I respect Ultima more than enjoy playing it. I’ve played the first four, and IV is the only one I’ve finished, albeit the NES port. Later games like VI and VII look too light on actual RPG elements and also just too dang long for me. VIII and IX look like pure trash.

I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who fondly remembers Spoony. The guy was genuinely funny and insightful. I never knew what actually happened to him. Now maybe I will.

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I saw that while doing research for this article - I never actually saw that video when it came out, somehow. Just wait until you see his later interactions with Garriott, which only came about... two years ago, I think? It's... well, you'll see. If you don't know what ended up happening to Spoony, I really hate to be the one to show you what did, because it is not a pretty picture.

I feel the same way about Ultima. I went back and played IV but modern games spoiled me too much. It was a little too esoteric for me, but I definitely respect what it did for the genre and the lore always fascinated me.

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On the one hand, I'm familiar with Rolfe, Maddox, Ultima and MST3K. I think I even vaguely knew about KoDT.

On the other, I am completely unfamiliar with Antwiler. What makes it weird for me is that I lived in Phoenix during the precise time period you're discussing. So I'm experiencing this weird, dream-like combination of nostalgia and amnesia.

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"Hey, that's Lord British! [continues reading...] Oh, he's an astronaut or something, must be a different Richard Garriott. [continues reading...] Hey, cool, it is him!" I clocked a lot of hours on Ultima IV and V, so it's nice to hear he did well on the proceeds.

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Apparently, he did more than just well. I didn't know this but the guy just visited the bottom of the Marianna's Trench this year. Certainly an interesting man in his own right.

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We heard plenty about the Oceangate submersible tragedy, but nothing about that. Nor indeed about Garriott as a whole, though by 1910s idioms he would be an entrepreneur and adventurer known the world over. "They have an engine called the Press, whereby the people are deceived."

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It does make me wonder that if Garriott's submersible had met a similar fate, would we have ever heard about it? Would we have ever heard of Oceangate had it happened at another time? Or did Oceangate just happen at a time where the press needed something to flash in front of the public and keep their eyes off something else? I feel as if I recall the much-hyped Ukranian counter-offensive gracelessly fizzling out at the time.

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IIRC there was some ugly DC political drama going on that needed to be memoryholed

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You know you're probably right but at the same time that's kind of been the standard operating procedure since, like... at least 2015, if not earlier :P

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In this first part we get a glimpse into an interesting celebrity encounter in the life of a young Ape, a concise yet detailed glimpse at the history of the angry internet critic of yore, and glimpses at early aspects of The Spoony One's internet career which I didn't know about. (I was never an avid watcher of Antwiler, chiefly due to not having discovered him until rather late in the internet reviewer game.)

Given the rather positive image we see of Spoony at this early stage, it's safe to say we're going to be in for an informative, dramatic, and ultimately tragic look at a thoroughly unfortunate downfall. I pensively look forward to it, simultaneously eager for details that I know I've missed or forgotten over the years, and tentative because what I do remember paints the picture of an unpleasant story.

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I thought I was well versed in the Angry Internet Cultural Commentator™ culture, but I confess that I never heard of Antwiler until this post. However, I used to think Maddox was the shit. I even bought stuff off his website, as well as his book, The Alphabet of Manliness.

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Really? That's surprising. I'm genuinely shocked that so many people seem to have never heard of him before. I knew he was never THE biggest in terms of the angry internet critic schtick, but I'm beginning to think he was more niche than I thought. Maybe it's just rose-tinted glasses.

I used to think Maddox was the shit, too. He was pretty funny, back in the day, but given all the antics he's pulled over the past couple years... ugh. He makes Spoony's fall from grace almost look dignified.

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I dunno, WoW owes more to Everquest and in turn to MUDs than it does to Ultima. Ultima was always its own thing, even among crpgs. Ultima Online mostly proved what *didn't* work in MMOs, by trying to be a world simulation, unlike the Everquest dungeon-crawling fetch-questing theme park model.

I loved what Garriott tried to do with UO, but it didn't work then and hasn't worked anywhere else since unless you count Minecraft (which, on a big server with hundreds of players, does feel a bit like a MUD, in a good way). It wasn't the first graphical MUD, but it was arguably the first "massively multiplayer" game so there's that. Nor was Ultima the first roleplaying video game, though it was pretty early. But Garriott has always been a bit of a namefag about it.

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Haha, all that stuff was way before my time. I only vaguely remember Everquest, and only then because I dated a girl who's father was an OG on that game and always gave me shit about playing WoW. Good naturedly, of course. Like I said, I think that Garriott was kind of hyping himself up, as he seems wont to do (though, I suppose given his laundry list of accomplishments it isn't really unwarranted).

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Haha yeah Garriott is an amazing guy, but weirdly his ego always needs to be sliiightly greater than he already is. He's always been like that.

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the more I look back to that period of the 2010s, the more cringe it becomes in retrospect!

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